Are you Grieving?
Losing a loved one is one of the hardest things to cope with. Going through stages of grief is a unique experience for everyone. You do not have to go through it alone.
I know we all think we can handle it on our own.
We prepare and train for almost every major event in our life, but when it comes to grief, we assume we will just figure it out. To “figure it out”, we rely on past experiences or what our well intentioned friends tell us to do. I don’t know about you, but for me this didn’t give me a clear helpful route.
I have recently been featured on the Labor Pains: Dealing with Infertility and Loss During Pregnancy or Infancy podcast. I talk about losing Mark, my 4-year-old son and also having a miscarriage. You can listen to it below.
As a child, I can remember funerals and tears, and then there was nothing. Maybe they didn’t know what to do either. Maybe you were brought up with bad examples of how to deal with grief. Such as self destructive behaviors of drug use, alcohol abuse, depression and/or suicide.
As an adult, I have heard… “at least she isn’t suffering.” Or, “he lived a long life, it was time for him.” My favorite is, “well, your a young family, at least you can have more.”
My point is, no matter how well intended your friends and family are, they most likely do not have the tools to help you. Unless you have experienced a healthy way to deal with grief you may be relying on your past experiences as your knowledge base. For me, that meant, choke it back, deal with it, it’s private.
The problem with this age old answer to deal with a subject no one wants to talk about is that it stays right here, inside of me, 24 x 7. I don’t have a clue with how to get back to “normal”. It is like giving me a Calculus problem when I’m terrible at math! Sure, I can work on it for the rest of my life. I might get the right answer some day, but I will have spent a lot of time and energy to get it, not to mention all the wrong answers I had as well.
I know it takes a lot, just for you to reach out. I know you are sitting there, with your grief in your lap, thinking everyone is going on with their life. No one understands. Everyone wants to hear, “I’m fine.”, even though you not. I know you still cry when something reminds you of your loved one. I also know that a piece of you is afraid to give the grief up, for fear of forgetting what they meant to you. I know you remember a time when you were happy, and you just don’t know how that same person can exist again.
Having a support system in place is essential to helping get you through the feelings of lonesomeness, sadness, hopelessness, anger and more.
There is no exact route through your grief, but I will guide you using proven and successful strategies and support, in a healthy direction to find your peace when you are ready for it.
Life is precious, Life is short. Life is full of Joy waiting for you to be a part of it.
Take your Joy back.
Take the first step, and reach out for help.
"After 18 months of battling cancer I lost my 2.5 yr old grandson. I never experienced such grief and anguish before. Reaching out to JoAnn was one of the best decisions I could have made. Her support and tools that she gave me have given me peace of mind and new perspective on moving forward. I now know how to handle the highs and the lows that come with the grieving process. I can't imagine that I wouldv'e found peace without it."
"Death is not the greatest loss in life.
The greatest loss is what dies within us while we live."
My heart will always miss you.